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Zebra Lounge cast: Kristy Swanson, Stephen Baldwin, Cameron Daddo and Brandy Ledford director: Kari Skogland 92 minutes (18) 2001 widescreen ratio 16:9 Momentum DVD Region 2 rental Also available to rent on video RATING: 1/10 reviewed by Porl Broome |
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How many psychosexual dramas have we seen since Fatal Attraction? A hundred? A thousand? I've completely lost count, and this one joined the mass ranks of nameless others just minutes, nay seconds, after I finished watching it. The plot really is as bad and predictable as you'd expect. What, the bad guys have wormed their way into the children's affections? No, you don't say? Oh, and now they've bought the house next door? Well, I never! The acting is atrocious, particularly from Swanson who manages to be as seductive as a plank of wood with a blonde wig (in my opinion, the casting people should have reversed her and Ledford's roles - it wouldn't have saved the film, but it would have been marginally more enjoyable) and after The Usual Suspects I really thought Stephen Baldwin had risen above this kind of tripe. But I should have realised: cometh the tripe, cometh the Baldwin...
They don't even have the decency to serve up some decent erotica to save the day. The sex scenes, all two or three of them, are false, forced and less erotic than a slap round the face from a big wet fish. So, surely there's some big over the top finale, with the bad guys dying at least six or seven times? No, not even that, the film just ends, basically (not wanting to give the game away, as I know you're all so desperate to see this one) with the bad guys killing themselves, and the good guys running off to bed so they can get on with their brand new sex life. It's atrocious, truly atrocious.