-MONTHLY FILM & TV REVIEW-
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Johnny Sunshine
cast: Ian Argo, Sean-Michael Argo, and Shey Bland
director: Matt Yeager
78 minutes (18) 2008
Brain Damage DVD Region 2 retail
RATING:
0/10
reviewed by Gary McMahon
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It's not often that I'm stunned into a kind of awed silence by the sheer lack of quality
on display in a film, but Johnny Sunshine managed the task with alarming ease. This
film is so bad that it is difficult to focus on any one facet of the production - so bad in
fact that I watched around 75 percent of it on fast forward (something I try to avoid at all
costs when reviewing a title). I've tried my best, but can find nothing positive to say about
this thing.
The story (and I use the term loosely) concerns a bunch of vile characters during some kind
of non-specific zombie outbreak, particularly the titular Johnny Sunshine - a female porn
star-come-assassin who spends much of her time simply wandering through 'the Sprawl' (i.e.
a few empty back streets near the director's home) and killing badly made-up zombies in very
unconvincing ways.
The acting can barely be called that. The gore effects are unconvincing and poorly executed.
The script is incomprehensible yet mind-numbingly banal. The dialogue is so meaningless that
it resembles a bad parody of non-rhyming beat poetry. Nothing about this film holds any sort
of appeal. I found it lacking in charm, humourless, heartless and soulless: a vapid exercise
in cynicism aimed at a market I can't even begin to imagine. I mean, who the hell would pay
good money to watch this bilge?
Shot on video without an ounce of feel for that chosen medium, and with production values
set so low that I doubt the performers even made minimum wage, the film looks like an ADD-afflicted
teenager's amateur after-school project. It really is that bad: quite possibly the worst film
I have ever seen - and believe me, I've seen some rubbish in my time... I am stuck for anything
more to say.
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