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Now available in a triple-DVD pack,
with earlier Sidaris' productions
Picasso Trigger and Guns.
| December 2005 | SITE MAP SEARCH |
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The Dallas Connection cast: Bruce Penhall, Mark Barriere, Julie Strain, Sam Phillips, and Rodrigo Obregon director: Drew Sidaris 94 minutes (R) 1994 BCI Eclipse DVD Region 0 retail RATING: 6/10 reviewed by Christopher Geary |
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International organisation of do-gooders, IWAR, are in the final stages of preparation
for their commendably well-intentioned satellite project, aiming to detect weapons of
mass destruction from low Earth orbit. Agents converge on Dallas (hence the spy-movie
attuned title, natch) where all the computer chips are supposed to be assembled and
plugged into the control system's mainframe. It's another hi-tech day in save-tomorrow's-world
heroism... and Jack Bauer isn't in town. What else is new? But what's this? Scantily clad babes are killing all the scientists! There's only one guy left who knows how to plug in the chips! Is world peace at risk from some an unknown faceless, certifiably deranged super-villain, again? Yes, of course. And so, without further ado, the hunky guys (Bruce Penhall, Mark Barriere) and sexy gal (blonde Sam Phillips) from IWAR get dressed up - in their sharpest threads, man; load up with guns and ammo, and spring (or, at least, stroll around with a detached-from-reality sense of 'cool' irony), into glamorous, crime-busting action. As the devil-with-nearly-no-dress-on of this OTT style drama, sassy Julie Strain strides away with every scene, of course. Her highly amusing, gun toting, wise-cracking, clothes' shedding female fatale, Black Widow, is quite probably every S&M freaks' ultimate death-wish fantasy. She's gonna slay ya. But first, she's gotta mate with her helpless prey and oh boy, is that gonna hurt... Also strongly featured in this movie's quota from the department-of-show-no-mercy (courtesy of Penthouse and Playboy action babes' recruiting houses), we find the remarkably well-endowed Julie K. Smith (who apparently knows far more about racing cars than the track experts), and lissom Wendy Hamilton (who can play a mean round of golf with exploding balls. No kidding!). They're codenamed Cobra and Scorpion, for reasons that will be made abundantly clear from the chuckle-worthy dialogue. ROMANTIC-MOMENT LINE: "I'd like to suck the polish off your toes." Wait a minute. You're not familiar with the sterling work of Andy Sidaris' factory of 'bullets, bombs, and babes' filmmaking? Well, now's your best chance ever to catch up with all the fun you've been missing for decades. The savvy folks over at BCI Eclipse are re-releasing triple-disc collections, and there's also a monster Sidaris' DVD boxset available. The top-secret weapons of American independent cinema are not a secret anymore. Written and directed by Andy's son, this movie delivers a shift in emphasis from Sidaris' previous outings, with more badass chicks than heroines, and leading roles for the male stars. Fans might mourn the loss of Dona Speir, Cynthia Brimhall and Roberta Vasquez, but their replacements effortlessly fulfil the required hot-starlet eye-candy function, despite unfortunately lacklustre 'action babe' performances - though the formidable Ms Strain is an exception, naturally. And her funniest lines seem like throwaway ad-libs, too. What a gal! DVD extra features include: audio commentary, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a photo gallery, and trailers.
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