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April 2010

Stan Helsing

cast: Steve Howey, Diora Baird, Kenan Thompson, Desi Lydic, and Leslie Nielsen

director: Bo Zenga

108 minutes (18) 2009
widescreen ratio 1.85:1
Anchor Bay DVD Region 2 retail

RATING: 2/10
review by William N. Dyer

Stan Helsing

I said to Tony (he's the man), 'Send me this video. It can't be that bad.' So he sent it to me and guess what folks... You guessed correct. It is that bad. Was it poorly acted? Not particularly. Was it badly shot? No. The cinematography was quite good. Was it badly directed? Possibly, if it affected the script... Was the story rubbish? What little there is here is of marginal value.

Did it - as a spoof - make me laugh? A couple of times and that was not enough pay-back for my time in watching the movie. Life's getting shorter by the day. Who might this appeal to? Possibly young males at the hormonal stage with a puerile sense of humour, and not even all of them...

It's about four people, two males who are friends and their dates, going to a party. Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) is a video shop assistant and in order to keep his job needs to deliver some videos to the boss' relatives. So they take a detour on the way to the party and after a couple of incidents they end up at a gated community that is tormented by fiends for some famous horror films and the locals believe that Stan is really Van Helsing and is here to save them. (This is now more than halfway through the movie.) He does by winning a karaoke contest and they are saved.

Besides some horror humour there is a lot of sexual innuendo and visuals that try to get a cheap laugh, but fail. This is in spite of two good-looking lead actresses (Diora Baird and Desi Lydic). With a stronger script and better direction this should have been a good movie especially considering the quality of the cast. Life is too short to waste your time on a movie like this.

Bonus features: give me a break. I'd already spent two hours on this blimp, and deleted scenes, well they could have been better than the main feature, but the titles sounded sick.



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